One to One Parent Mentoring
Currently delivered via Zoom. Each session is €80 and is for one hour.
You can also choose to work with me on a one to one basis if you feel you would like to support and safety to explore the thoughts and feelings that may be arising for you in your parenting experience. There is and will be absolutely no emphasis on your child’s sleep-but an opportunity to be held in a compassionate, non-judgemental setting as you explore the heightened emotions that may be triggered in our parenting career.
Relationship Mentoring is about creating the safety for individuals to come to know and understand why they are feeling a certain way; providing an opportunity to develop a depth of understanding of why this may be; in a deep and meaningful way.
Each of us is a unique human being and we have all had individual experiences of being parented and cared for as children by the adults we encountered in our lives, in homes, schools, at activities and in various social settings.
Very few adults have avoided experiencing some defensive/threatening responses. The effects of these threats, though created in the past, travel with us and impact on all new relationships, especially the emerging parent and child relationship.
As children we are by necessity dependent on adults, however as adults now we get to ‘parent’ ourselves. This can be a difficult journey and one which we need support to undertake. The reward is the possibility of creating mature open ways of being in relationships, conscious of our boundaries and our worth and I would be honored to share this journey with you.
To book a one to one Relationship Mentoring appointment- please email Lucy@sleepmatters.ie
It is the nature of our human lives that, from the moment of conception, we are always in relationship with others. The quality of those relationships, the extent to which unconditional love is present – is what principally determines the wellbeing of individuals in all the setting in which people live, learn, work, heal, play and pray-the womb, the family, the community, the school , the workplace the church and the state.
The important issue here is that much of what drives our lives, lies at an unconscious level and will not come to conscious awareness until there is safety to do so.
Since unsafety arises originally within relationship, finding safety in adulthood often needs to find its start from the experience of a relation with another, who is in a position to relate in an unconditional manner.
At the core of the Mentoring approach to human distress is an appreciation of the individuality of the person seeking help, a recognition of the person’s power beyond measure, an affirmation of the sacredness and unconditional worth of the person and an awe response to the intelligent and creative ways by which people protect themselves in the face of threats experienced through the unconscious defensive behaviors of others.
Crucially, an understanding of the meaning and purpose of the protective behaviors presented is sought and the creation of safety for the person to bring to consciousness what lies hidden- the unmet needs, the fears, the losses, the suffering that to this time have had to stay unconscious, unnamed and unacknowledged.
Consciousness is essential for relationships to shift from being defensive to being open. This in turn enhances our parenting and ongoing connected relationship with our children.
Consciousness brings freedom, strength and expansiveness and peace.
Relationship Mentoring is a non-directive, co-creational approach to human suffering where the primary focus is on what happens within, rather than between individuals. It is an approach which is underpinned in philosophy and psychology from Socrates to Freud, Jung, Assagioli, Rogers, Lake, Winnicott, and Bowlby and supported by contemporary practitioners such as John Welwood and James Hollis.
The Relationship Mentoring approach has added the fundamental concept of the self as creator- creator of unconscious protective strategies-which can begin in utero and which come from the innate loving wisdom and creativity of individuals in the face of experiences of conditional relating, fear, hurt, trauma, violations and neglect.
In the Relationship Mentoring encounter, the creations or protective behaviors of the client are met with an awe response rather than being seen as something to be banished or changed or fixed.
The Mentoring Relationship emphasises the importance of individual story as the context which gives meaning to the experience of threat and consequent unconscious protective strategies wisely and ingeniously created by the individual in the face of threat and the consequent unconscious protective strategies wisely and ingeniously created by the individual in the face of threat.
These may present for example as depression, anxiety, stress, anger, helplessness and so on.
Through the Mentors creation of an empathic, non judgmental compassionate safe holding, those seeking help have an opportunity to examine their story, to uncover the many aspects of themselves they needed to hide in the face of conditional relating and understand how they wisely and creatively developed protective strategies for their very survival.
The Mentoring Relationship recognises that metaphor is the language of the unconscious and accordingly the Mentor provide opportunity for the client to uncover the meaning of the particular metaphors that she or he has creatively developed to capture what has been too dangerous to express openly and straightforwardly.
Each person is a unique, sacred and precious presence in the world: unconditionally worthy of love and belonging.
- Our Loving Wisdom is always present
- We are always Creators, not victims
- We always are where we need to be
Everything that arises in me, comes from me, is about me and is for me; likewise everything that arises in the other comes from, is about and for the other.
The aim is to consciously realise and act from the truth that ultimate safe holding is within ourselves and to ground ourselves in knowing that we have everything that we need to provide that inner safe holding.
What emerges in the relationship is the co-creational outcome of what the client reveals and shares of their inner world and the holding and the responsiveness that the Mentor brings to those revelations.
The relationship is one of equality where what is required of the Mentor is to create the safety that enables the client to let into conscious awareness what has been hidden up to now.
If you would like to explore this with me, please do let me know: firstname.lastname@example.org